Thursday, Aug. 26, 2004 - 3:52 a.m.

A bit of history about me, to give these meanderings some context.

I'm an Army brat, born in South Carolina. I grew up mostly in Birmingham, Alabama, with a short stint in the Dallas, Texas, area shortly before I started school. My father is my mother's first husband. I'm the oldest, then I have a sister, Kay, and a brother, Tony. My youngest sister, Lynn, is from the marriage of our mother with her second husband. All told, my mother has been married four times.

Most of the time growing up, I was in a single-parent home. We were far from rich, but we always had a roof over our heads, food on the table and clothes to wear. Being the oldest, I had to grow up a little faster than "normal" (if there is such a thing), and I was something of a Mommy Junior. Sometimes I get upset at things I missed out on, especially things like being a drummer in the school band, but I know my mother did the best she could. I DID get to be in the school choir!

I met the man I would marry when I was a junior in high school. He transferred in as a senior and was very different from the guys at our semi-rural school. He'd grown up in the city, had long hair and was edgy. He at first seemed pretty geeky, frankly, but once I got to know him he kinda grew on me. We married when I was almost 2 months shy of 21, and he was 24. We were married for 15 years and divorced mainly because, as we grew up, we grew apart. We ended on friendly terms, and the last time I saw him, at the bank, we hugged when we parted company. We probably "should" have been just friends. I'm grateful to him for saving me from a life of bigotry. He taught me to value the differences in people.

I attended my first 2 years of college before getting married. Then around our 5th anniversary, we moved to Florida. I went to the University of Florida and graduated with honors from the school of journalism in 1988. I've been working in the news media almost all the time since then, except for a year in advertising copywriting.

Part of the reason my divorce came about was because I was in a period of self-discovery. One huge thing I discovered about myself was my interest in women. After my divorce, I dated both men and women, and I got engaged to a guy a little over a year after the divorce. I think my family was relieved I landed with a guy. lol!

David is a whole diary entry unto himself, which I'll write someday. It was a stormy relationship that left me broke financially and emotionally.

As I got over David, I met Helen. That relationship was complicated, too, but by outward things. When it was just her and me, I was treated the best I'd ever been in my life. She and I were together for about 2 years, and we're still friends.

Helen and I broke up about five years ago. I've dated some, but nothing serious. Through some intensive therapy, I've become stronger and think I'll make better choices in the future for potential romantic interests. I'm looking forward to "testing" myself! I consider my sexual orientation to be "monogamous and gender-neutral." Seems weird, yes, but it fits me.

I recently moved from South Florida to Northeast Florida, to an area near where my ex-husband and I lived when we first moved here. I like it here much better. The pace is not as hectic, the people are generally nicer, and it's closer to my family. My mother and sisters live near Birmingham, and my brother is in North Mississippi. My father and one remaining grandparent, his mother (who is in her 90s, and I will lose my mind when she goes) live on the Gulf Coast near Mobile. I don't talk to my father much. We're not estranged, we just aren't in touch.

There's the outline. I intend to fill in the blanks and use this journal to vent feelings and pontificate on all sorts of things from the meaning of life, the universe, and everything; to why the heck did someone decide to invent those huge, dumbass paper rolls in public restrooms?? I intend to be as honest as I can make myself be. We'll see where it goes.

Peace!

G.A.

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