Tuesday, February 22,, 2005 - 4:03 a.m.

Helen's mother is in the hospital this afternoon, and she's not expected to live through the night. I hadn't heard from Helen in about a month, then she text messaged me last night while I was at work, and we "talked" for about 3 rounds of messages. She's going to be in the paper in a review of the place where she sings on Saturday nights. Then today she called and told me her mother is dying, is not expected to last the day. It's a shocker, and sudden. Helen said her mother had played mah-jong and had her hair done Friday and seemed to be having stomach pains last night, like it was something she ate. I met her mother briefly; for that matter I met all the family, and I feel really horrible that Helen and they are going through this. Her mother had some sort of aneurysm type of thing with her intestines, which caused them to stop working. Anyway, I'm in some turmoil about how to best be supportive to Helen. She said I'm the first friend she called and told. I guess I'll just do what feels right when I feel it. I need to look up what the customs are for friends of Jewish people when they have a death in the family. I'd like to send flowers, but I'm not sure whether that might create problems between Helen and her husband. Then again, this is such a huge loss for her, I'd like to think he wouldn't be so petty about something that happened years ago.

For now, I'm a bit teary-eyed, and I have a candle lit to symbolically light the way for Ida's spirit.

I sense some rough emotional waters ahead.
G.A.
Added Feb. 22:
Helen's mother died Monday. She made it into another day, which surprised everyone. I wanted to copy the obit, and I've taken out some info to protect the family's privacy:
~~
---IDA, 82, formerly of Utica, New York, and a Dade County resident since 1945, passed away after a sudden illness on February 21, 2005. Daughter of the late Julius and Rebecca ---. Survived by her beloved husband of 59 years, Mannie; devoted children, Dr. Gary (Judi), Deborah, and Helen (Michael); loving grandchildren, Brian, Erin and Sean; many nieces and nephews and close friends. Ida was a lifetime member of Hadassah, a longtime member of Beth David Congregation of Miami, and a 30 year devoted volunteer for Recording for the Blind. She was also a loyal contributor to many local and national charities including the State of Israel. "Mom, we love you and will miss you. Rest in Peace." Services Tuesday (today) at 2:00 P.M. at the CHAPEL Miami Beach. Contributions may be made in her memory to the Recording for the Blind or a Charity of your choice.
~~~
I need to get something more than a cell phone text message through to Helen. Jewish people don't generally send flowers, but I don't know what else would apply. I'll check some stuff out and see what I find. I'm crying again, and I've felt bad, "off" these past couple of days. I dislike not being able to be there for someone I'm so close to.
G.A.

A few minutes later, and I've made a memorial donation to Recording for the Blind via online. They'll send Helen a card, and I sent her a message that my heart is with her. I feel some better.

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